This evening I posted on Facebook that I learned 2 things about myself today. 1. I don't have the finger strength to be a graffiti artist. 2. I don't have the patience to put together models. So as I am chuckling to myself while assembling the model cruise ship for our church banquet, I started to question why I don't have much patience for that activity.
In October I started working as a Special Education para. I was moved to 4 different positions in three months before I was officially hired. I discovered there were some kids that I could handle and some that I had no patience for. There are certain behaviors that I struggle with accepting. I am constantly reminding myself that everyone is different and that society has changed so much since I was growing up that kids have a lot more to deal with. But some things still can't be excused.
I am currently working with 2 autistic boys. Yes they can be challenging at times. And absolutely delightful at other times. I am learning what triggers a meltdown and what I can use as a reward. We have our share of good and bad days - and yet the good days are coming more frequently. I am physically exhausted most days - we tend to be on the go a lot. But I find that I really am happy when I am working. I have found a job that I really enjoy - there is never a dull moment that's for sure.
A few people have made that comment that it takes a special person with a lot of patience to do my job. I agree. But why do I have patience to deal with kicking, screaming, running, defiance, anger,etc, --coming from a 6 year old - but I can't sit for an hour and paint and assemble a wooden model ship??? Why? Because God knows where He wants me and what I need to do His work. I don't see how anyone will benefit from me putting together a model ship. But the ability to work with a student through a meltdown and help them regroup afterwards -or to help them navigate a mainstream class - that has it's rewards for both of us.
I suppose it would be a lot easier if God would just give us a list of our strengths and weaknesses. Or a checklist of jobs that would be good for us. But where would the fun be in that??? And how would we learn anything about ourselves? Life is all about taking chances, trying new things, stepping outside our box. And with that we find somethings are not meant for us - like building model ships. I can cross that one off my list. So glad that I had the opportunity to find something that I do have the patience for. I may pray daily that God continues to give me that patience as needed - but it seems to come naturally when I am doing something I love. And I do love my job.
