So here we are - on the other side. God has once again brought me through my struggles (my valley) and shown me the light. For as much as I hate doubting myself, feeling depressed, despising things in my life and resenting certain other things - - I love that I am able to learn things from all that has happened.
First and foremost, my Faith remained strong - I never doubted that God would get me through - I just struggled with my end of it - control and resentment. Many times I tried to tell myself to give it all to God and I just couldn't let go of all of it. Not sure why but that was what kept holding me back. I know I have mentioned before that my Faith has grown during my journey to a NEW me and perhaps part of this was to prepare me for this. Having that strong Faith base certainly helped.
Second, I realized that God really does have a plan and that I just need to be open to listening. For as much as I didn't want the new job I got, there have been several situations where I just knew that I was right where God wanted me to be. It is so amazing to me how that works. I still wish at times that I was back to my "freedom" before the job, but I just keep telling myself that where I am is where I need to be right now.
I really don't like how I felt during the last few weeks - because it sure didn't feel like me. I prefer to try and keep the positive outlook and not let things get me down and keep me down. I really did struggle with that these last few weeks. Now that I am through, I am adding this to another life experience.
About the only time I felt okay was when I was on a long bike ride. I guess I know that God gave me those opportunities to escape (in a way) and try to work on things with Him while I was removed from the situation. It certainly helped. I was able to keep training for my big ride this coming weekend and have some great chats with God.
Looking back over the last 4 weeks, I can see how certain people and events were placed in my life to "shake things up" and also help get me through. I am so blessed with my family and friends. And so blessed to have such an incredible relationship with God. I believe that there is no other way I would be able to commit to my NEW lifestyle. God has given me such wonderful opportunities to improve my body, mind and spirit.
My friend and I have talked about valleys and mountains. I was in a deep valley and have finally found that mountainside that I need to climb - and I am more than ready!
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