The end of a challenge has come and gone. And in it's place was another 3 day funk. A little depression, mild mood swings and the feeling that nothing is going right. Not the first time I have had one of these "3 day funks" but I think I have finally figured out why I go through them.
From June 30th through July 16th I participated in a Tour de France challenge. I managed to bike 546 miles in 16 rides. I had to push myself mentally and physically every day to get out there and ride in the heat and humidity. I love riding so that wasn't so much of an issue. But I don't ride every day. I make excuses - it's too hot, I'm too tired, I don't have the time. I also don't do 24 miles every day. I like doing longer rides once a week or so - not every day. So I took on the challenge and pushed even harder. I finished my challenge with 6 days to spare. Woohoo for me.
And that is when my problem began. The day after I finished, I felt unmotivated, listless, and unsure of what to do with myself. Of course I didn't really realize I was in a funk. I was too wrapped up in my bad mood to understand what was going on. And I know I wasn't taking the time to give to it God - or wait for Him to work in me.
I really don't like how I feel when I am in this mood. It bothers me that I let myself be dragged down by negative thoughts and feelings. This time though I finally realized what it was. My challenge was over. I was depressed that I had nothing to work for. I suppose others feel this way when they finish a performance that they have work hard preparing for. For two weeks I focused so hard on my challenge and then it was done. What motivation did I have to get up and ride? None. I almost felt lost with something to work for. Yes life goes on and I don't need to constantly be challenged - with a fitness activity - to survive. But a big part of my NEW Shari journey has been setting challenges for myself and trying my hardest to complete those challenges. And looking back - I have gone through a "3 day funk" after most of them.
This weekend I finally took the time to sit down and think about it. I also spent a lot of time in prayer. Asking God to help me figure out what my issue was /is and how to remedy it. And then I spent some time just waiting. I had two great workouts this weekend at the health club where I allowed God to in a sense turn off my brain and give me a break from all my post challenge thoughts. I was just able to focus on my workout and pushing my body. It was wonderful. I struggle much of the time with turning off my thoughts and not worrying about things in my life. To have an hour or two free from those thoughts and worries was such a new feeling and enjoyable.
I truly believe that God uses my "funks" to speak to me. It just seems to take me a while to listen. When my bad mood starts I don't always remember to give it to Him. But eventually I come back around and it seems that things are revealed. A good friend gave me a CD for my birthday. The artist is Mandisa. She has a song called "God Speaking" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZI2gOBvBHk. While listening today, I realized how much God does speak to me and how much better I am at listening. I have noticed along my journey that things that I used to brush off as coincidence (if I was aware of them at all) - seem to be God's way of getting my attention so that He can use me. Names pop out at me on my rides - and I realize I should be praying for that person. I see something on my rides that gives me a feeling about something else and I take action. It is amazing how many times I have found out that my prayers were answered or that the action I took was what that person felt they needed at that moment.
I am hopeful that now that I realize what triggers the 3 day funk on my end - the end of a challenge - that I will be better prepared to work through them. And I hope that God continues to work in me each time and will continue to use me as He wishes. There will be more challenges - that is such a big part of my NEW Shari journey - but each one that I finish brings me another step closer to becoming the person that God wants me to be. And each 3 day funk is part of that process.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Au Revoir Tour de France Challenge
Here it is Sunday night. I just finished four hours of my American Greetings card work and am feeding my kids supper at 8 pm. It seems that my Sundays never go quite as I hope. But I am not going to let it get to me today. Because tomorrow is MY DAY! Tomorrow I hope to finish my Tour de France challenge.
Back in June I committed myself to a challenge through Map My Ride.com. You could choose a distance that correlated to a percentage of the Tour de France. You would have 23 days to complete the challenge. So based on the distances I have ridden and what I had on my calendar for the next three weeks, I signed up for 544 miles in 23 days. Totally doable in my mind. 24 miles a day. June 30th is Go Day!
I started my challenge off strong. 50 miles on Day 1. That is the way to start a challenge. Day 2 - 33 miles. Day 3 - 27 miles. I needed to bank some miles knowing I would miss one day of riding for sure. I also committed to a family ride on July 4th and knew that would be a shorter ride. But I also wanted to push myself each time. No more short 16 mile rides. I need to push for those extra miles each time.
The biggest part of the challenge would not be physical. For me, this challenge would be more of a mental challenge. How would I be able to get up each day for three weeks and bike 24 miles?? What challenges would present themselves? How would my body hold up with the repetition? Would I find this challenge boring? Would my daily life/family life get in the way? So many things to think about. But I finally got to the point where I asked God to deal with the What - if and give me the mental and physical strength to tackle the challenge.
The challenges have been there. The last two weeks in Minnesota have been hot and humid. The first week, each morning when I left at 6am, the temp was already 80 and the dew points were in the upper 60's. Makes for very hot soupy air. Not fun to breathe when you are pounding out 50 miles at a good pace, or trying to race up some hills for some quad work. But I did it. Each morning I got up and headed out. I came home each day soaking wet and smelly (as my daughter has been so kind to point out). I even set an extra challenge within the challenge - in honor of Harrison Ford's 70th birthday - I biked 70 miles. It turned out to be a bigger struggle as the weather drove me inside to bike at the health club and I spent 4 1/2 hours on a putzy stationary bike that did not fit me well. But I did it.
So here I am on Sunday night. Day 15. I have managed 15 rides and knocked out 482 miles of my challenge. I am so close and I still have 7 days to finish. But I am not going to drag this out for 7 days. I have given myself 2 days to finish. And honestly I hope to ride my last 62 miles tomorrow. I know that physically I can do it. The forecast says hot and humid again - 80 to start. Been there, done that.
Before I realized I was this close to finishing I had set another challenge within a challenge. On Tuesday I will turn 40. So I had planned to bike 40 miles for my 40th. My dilemma right now is how far do I bike on Monday? Do I finish my challenge and then keep going? Do I drag out my challenge through the week? Can I do this??? I would love to be able to say that I finished my challenge - finished it early and finished it before I turned 40.
I think most of you who know me personally realize that I will probably head out Monday and bike the 62 miles and just finish my challenge. And then I will continue biking the rest of the week because I can and want to see how far I can go. But I am being honest with myself that there is the possibility that I won't finish tomorrow. I need to be able to accept that fact and continue on with my challenge.
I am so proud of myself for setting challenges for myself during this NEW journey. I have finished most of the challenges I have set. Maybe not always exactly as I had hoped - - but honestly most of them better than I expected. God has worked wonders in me. I am so much stronger physically, mentally and spiritually. I will use that strength to finish this challenge and turn around and set a new one.
Make sure you are listening for that big Woohoo on Monday morning as I finish my Tour de France challenge and put another notch in my NEW journey belt.
Back in June I committed myself to a challenge through Map My Ride.com. You could choose a distance that correlated to a percentage of the Tour de France. You would have 23 days to complete the challenge. So based on the distances I have ridden and what I had on my calendar for the next three weeks, I signed up for 544 miles in 23 days. Totally doable in my mind. 24 miles a day. June 30th is Go Day!
I started my challenge off strong. 50 miles on Day 1. That is the way to start a challenge. Day 2 - 33 miles. Day 3 - 27 miles. I needed to bank some miles knowing I would miss one day of riding for sure. I also committed to a family ride on July 4th and knew that would be a shorter ride. But I also wanted to push myself each time. No more short 16 mile rides. I need to push for those extra miles each time.
The biggest part of the challenge would not be physical. For me, this challenge would be more of a mental challenge. How would I be able to get up each day for three weeks and bike 24 miles?? What challenges would present themselves? How would my body hold up with the repetition? Would I find this challenge boring? Would my daily life/family life get in the way? So many things to think about. But I finally got to the point where I asked God to deal with the What - if and give me the mental and physical strength to tackle the challenge.
The challenges have been there. The last two weeks in Minnesota have been hot and humid. The first week, each morning when I left at 6am, the temp was already 80 and the dew points were in the upper 60's. Makes for very hot soupy air. Not fun to breathe when you are pounding out 50 miles at a good pace, or trying to race up some hills for some quad work. But I did it. Each morning I got up and headed out. I came home each day soaking wet and smelly (as my daughter has been so kind to point out). I even set an extra challenge within the challenge - in honor of Harrison Ford's 70th birthday - I biked 70 miles. It turned out to be a bigger struggle as the weather drove me inside to bike at the health club and I spent 4 1/2 hours on a putzy stationary bike that did not fit me well. But I did it.
So here I am on Sunday night. Day 15. I have managed 15 rides and knocked out 482 miles of my challenge. I am so close and I still have 7 days to finish. But I am not going to drag this out for 7 days. I have given myself 2 days to finish. And honestly I hope to ride my last 62 miles tomorrow. I know that physically I can do it. The forecast says hot and humid again - 80 to start. Been there, done that.
Before I realized I was this close to finishing I had set another challenge within a challenge. On Tuesday I will turn 40. So I had planned to bike 40 miles for my 40th. My dilemma right now is how far do I bike on Monday? Do I finish my challenge and then keep going? Do I drag out my challenge through the week? Can I do this??? I would love to be able to say that I finished my challenge - finished it early and finished it before I turned 40.
I think most of you who know me personally realize that I will probably head out Monday and bike the 62 miles and just finish my challenge. And then I will continue biking the rest of the week because I can and want to see how far I can go. But I am being honest with myself that there is the possibility that I won't finish tomorrow. I need to be able to accept that fact and continue on with my challenge.
I am so proud of myself for setting challenges for myself during this NEW journey. I have finished most of the challenges I have set. Maybe not always exactly as I had hoped - - but honestly most of them better than I expected. God has worked wonders in me. I am so much stronger physically, mentally and spiritually. I will use that strength to finish this challenge and turn around and set a new one.
Make sure you are listening for that big Woohoo on Monday morning as I finish my Tour de France challenge and put another notch in my NEW journey belt.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Watermelon Ride 2012 -The start of a new tradition??
Watermelon Ride 2012. First time I have ridden this ride. And I wasn't alone. My husband and children decided to join me. So instead of the 50 mile, unsupported and supposedly hilly ride I registered for, we did the 14 mile "Family Ride". 90 degrees when we started, dew points in the 70's and a family who has barely touched their bikes this year - my husband hadn't ridden his since 2010!
At least we had matching 4th of July t-shirts and we looked pretty good to start.
I can tell you now that we did finish. But not without some little obstacles - and for me - some bigger, mental challenges. First and foremost was the heat and humidity. Once you start exercising, you feel like you just can't catch your breath when the air is that heavy. We looked like we were melting before we even left the parking lot. My son has ridden his bike a dozen times or so this summer- up to school and back - a mile at most. My daughter even less. So here I was pushing them to keep moving the first mile in. (In my defense - I did not force them to ride - they wanted to do it!)
My first mental challenge (and one of my most common ones ) was letting someone else be in control of the situation. Dana took the map and took the lead. I generally bike by myself and decide where I am going and at what pace (or should I say God decides that but lets me think I am in control). So here we are biking a new route that I have never been on and I didn't even get to look at the map before hand. I was relying on Dana to lead the way - and I didn't really like that. I like to know where I am going and what roads to look for. Nope I was in the back watching out for the kids while he pedaled along his merry way. I was happy that he was willing to do the ride so I didn't push the issue. But I grumbled plenty to myself because that is what I do!
Another issue I had was that I felt I had to worry about my children. I have been working hard on giving my worries to God but when your 9 year old son suddenly jumps off his bike and collapses in the grass and says he is going to puke - you tend to worry. For me the worst part was that we were only a mile into the ride and I started to wonder how far he could go, how sick he was, how we would get back to the truck..... Then my daughter biked back to us and mentioned that she felt like throwing up as well. Great! There goes my ride. How can I force two kids to bike if they feel that sick? A little prayer and a lot of water helped them recover and we continued on.
Honestly this ride was one of the slowest I have done in a long time. I do realize that they don't bike like I do, their bikes are a lot heavier than mine, my son only has one gear on his bike and we were out to bike as a family. It wasn't a race. We were just out having fun TOGETHER! It took me a good 8 miles to finally let things go - the control issue, the worry, the lack of speed. And we did enjoy the ride. I may have corrupted my son though. We had a long hill to get up near the end of the ride and he was tired and not too motivated. So I took of my headphone and let him listen to Ghostbusters - one of his favorite songs. Well that helped enough to get him halfway up the hill. He still had to walk but he was enjoying himself. However he didn't want to give the music back. I know a lot of people frown on headphones while biking (I only wear one when I bike) so I will have to get him some speakers if he is going to continue.
My first Watermelon Ride had a little bit of everything. I love how God continues to use my NEW journey to teach me lessons that I obviously need to learn. I know that I am getting better at not worrying so much - as I prove to myself each time I go out on a ride by myself and don't get in a panic with the what-ifs. So many things could go wrong on a ride but I have Faith that God will bring me through safely. I am also getting better at giving up the control issue. This one is a constant work in progress but I am learning that it is okay for others to do things for me or to instruct me or guide me. Honestly there was some joy in riding behind my family and seeing us together again and that wouldn't have happened if I would have been leading the pack.
I told the kids that they earned the right to brag that they rode 14 miles in 95 degree weather. They earned their watermelon after that ride. And they earned some respect from me. They stuck with it and didn't complain too much. We have been talking about starting a weekly family ride - a chance for us to spend some time together and chance for me to show off some of the trails that I ride and love. I don't expect that they will want to tackle 50 miles anytime soon but 14 miles is a great start to a new family tradition.
At least we had matching 4th of July t-shirts and we looked pretty good to start.
I can tell you now that we did finish. But not without some little obstacles - and for me - some bigger, mental challenges. First and foremost was the heat and humidity. Once you start exercising, you feel like you just can't catch your breath when the air is that heavy. We looked like we were melting before we even left the parking lot. My son has ridden his bike a dozen times or so this summer- up to school and back - a mile at most. My daughter even less. So here I was pushing them to keep moving the first mile in. (In my defense - I did not force them to ride - they wanted to do it!)
My first mental challenge (and one of my most common ones ) was letting someone else be in control of the situation. Dana took the map and took the lead. I generally bike by myself and decide where I am going and at what pace (or should I say God decides that but lets me think I am in control). So here we are biking a new route that I have never been on and I didn't even get to look at the map before hand. I was relying on Dana to lead the way - and I didn't really like that. I like to know where I am going and what roads to look for. Nope I was in the back watching out for the kids while he pedaled along his merry way. I was happy that he was willing to do the ride so I didn't push the issue. But I grumbled plenty to myself because that is what I do!
Another issue I had was that I felt I had to worry about my children. I have been working hard on giving my worries to God but when your 9 year old son suddenly jumps off his bike and collapses in the grass and says he is going to puke - you tend to worry. For me the worst part was that we were only a mile into the ride and I started to wonder how far he could go, how sick he was, how we would get back to the truck..... Then my daughter biked back to us and mentioned that she felt like throwing up as well. Great! There goes my ride. How can I force two kids to bike if they feel that sick? A little prayer and a lot of water helped them recover and we continued on.
Honestly this ride was one of the slowest I have done in a long time. I do realize that they don't bike like I do, their bikes are a lot heavier than mine, my son only has one gear on his bike and we were out to bike as a family. It wasn't a race. We were just out having fun TOGETHER! It took me a good 8 miles to finally let things go - the control issue, the worry, the lack of speed. And we did enjoy the ride. I may have corrupted my son though. We had a long hill to get up near the end of the ride and he was tired and not too motivated. So I took of my headphone and let him listen to Ghostbusters - one of his favorite songs. Well that helped enough to get him halfway up the hill. He still had to walk but he was enjoying himself. However he didn't want to give the music back. I know a lot of people frown on headphones while biking (I only wear one when I bike) so I will have to get him some speakers if he is going to continue.
My first Watermelon Ride had a little bit of everything. I love how God continues to use my NEW journey to teach me lessons that I obviously need to learn. I know that I am getting better at not worrying so much - as I prove to myself each time I go out on a ride by myself and don't get in a panic with the what-ifs. So many things could go wrong on a ride but I have Faith that God will bring me through safely. I am also getting better at giving up the control issue. This one is a constant work in progress but I am learning that it is okay for others to do things for me or to instruct me or guide me. Honestly there was some joy in riding behind my family and seeing us together again and that wouldn't have happened if I would have been leading the pack.
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