The end of a challenge has come and gone. And in it's place was another 3 day funk. A little depression, mild mood swings and the feeling that nothing is going right. Not the first time I have had one of these "3 day funks" but I think I have finally figured out why I go through them.
From June 30th through July 16th I participated in a Tour de France challenge. I managed to bike 546 miles in 16 rides. I had to push myself mentally and physically every day to get out there and ride in the heat and humidity. I love riding so that wasn't so much of an issue. But I don't ride every day. I make excuses - it's too hot, I'm too tired, I don't have the time. I also don't do 24 miles every day. I like doing longer rides once a week or so - not every day. So I took on the challenge and pushed even harder. I finished my challenge with 6 days to spare. Woohoo for me.
And that is when my problem began. The day after I finished, I felt unmotivated, listless, and unsure of what to do with myself. Of course I didn't really realize I was in a funk. I was too wrapped up in my bad mood to understand what was going on. And I know I wasn't taking the time to give to it God - or wait for Him to work in me.
I really don't like how I feel when I am in this mood. It bothers me that I let myself be dragged down by negative thoughts and feelings. This time though I finally realized what it was. My challenge was over. I was depressed that I had nothing to work for. I suppose others feel this way when they finish a performance that they have work hard preparing for. For two weeks I focused so hard on my challenge and then it was done. What motivation did I have to get up and ride? None. I almost felt lost with something to work for. Yes life goes on and I don't need to constantly be challenged - with a fitness activity - to survive. But a big part of my NEW Shari journey has been setting challenges for myself and trying my hardest to complete those challenges. And looking back - I have gone through a "3 day funk" after most of them.
This weekend I finally took the time to sit down and think about it. I also spent a lot of time in prayer. Asking God to help me figure out what my issue was /is and how to remedy it. And then I spent some time just waiting. I had two great workouts this weekend at the health club where I allowed God to in a sense turn off my brain and give me a break from all my post challenge thoughts. I was just able to focus on my workout and pushing my body. It was wonderful. I struggle much of the time with turning off my thoughts and not worrying about things in my life. To have an hour or two free from those thoughts and worries was such a new feeling and enjoyable.
I truly believe that God uses my "funks" to speak to me. It just seems to take me a while to listen. When my bad mood starts I don't always remember to give it to Him. But eventually I come back around and it seems that things are revealed. A good friend gave me a CD for my birthday. The artist is Mandisa. She has a song called "God Speaking" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZI2gOBvBHk. While listening today, I realized how much God does speak to me and how much better I am at listening. I have noticed along my journey that things that I used to brush off as coincidence (if I was aware of them at all) - seem to be God's way of getting my attention so that He can use me. Names pop out at me on my rides - and I realize I should be praying for that person. I see something on my rides that gives me a feeling about something else and I take action. It is amazing how many times I have found out that my prayers were answered or that the action I took was what that person felt they needed at that moment.
I am hopeful that now that I realize what triggers the 3 day funk on my end - the end of a challenge - that I will be better prepared to work through them. And I hope that God continues to work in me each time and will continue to use me as He wishes. There will be more challenges - that is such a big part of my NEW Shari journey - but each one that I finish brings me another step closer to becoming the person that God wants me to be. And each 3 day funk is part of that process.
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