Today's lesson from God was brought to me in the form of dandelion leaves and clover. Today's lesson was one of those cool God moments that came out of nowhere. It has nothing to do with working out my physical body but working on my Faith.
Today I was a Special Ed para - but I was floating between classes/students. When I returned from lunch, there was a situation at recess with a student and they asked me to please come deal with the student. As I was walking out there, all I could think was, "This is not what I signed up for - I don't want this job". When I arrived, I found the student very angry, chasing the boys who were taunting him, spitting at girls he thought were teasing him - he was pretty much out of control. I tried repeatedly to get him to walk away with me but the other boys kept at the teasing - which angered me too. It is hard to diffuse the situation when all parties are heated up and you can't get them physically separated. Finally the student agreed to walk with me - away from the others.
As we walked away, I told him that this is where we were going to get out our frustration and anger and anything else we needed to. So he cried, yelled, kicked, pulled up grass - but he wasn't hurting anyone so I let him go. I have to say it was an eye opening experience for me. I have never really been that close to a student acting this way. Knowing that he was not going to hurt anyone or himself gave me the ability to stay with him and try to calm him down.
After a few minutes, he dropped to the ground, took up a handful of grass and asked me if I knew that you could use grass as compost. That was it - the switch had flipped in him. The anger was gone, the calm was settling in, things were starting to get better. So we talked about grass and weeds and dandelions. "Did you know dandelions are edible?" he asked. "Yes I know that", I replied. We both wondered if they tasted as good as spinach - so we both tried some. Bitter was our taste sensation. Then we tried younger leaves. Even more bitter. "Do you think clover is edible?" he asked me. So we munched on some clover - which isn't too bad. And just because we could, we tried a blade of grass for comparison. We also colored our hands with dandelion flowers and grass - yellow and green.
Never would I have thought that I would bond with a kid over eating dandelion leaves and clover but that is exactly what happened. We spent a few more minutes talking and then I asked if he was ready to head into class. He was but we needed to stop and wash our hands. He was so excited to tell the first teacher we saw about eating dandelions and clover. I know we got some strange looks but it had made his day.
This is my cool God moment - as we were walking slowly back to class, I thanked him for chilling out with me in the yard. He turned to me and THANKED ME FOR HELPING HIM!!! That is not something I would have expected this student to say. I was so touched that he recognized that I was there to help him - not to discipline him, or single him out for his behavior. I wanted him to find that ability in himself to calm himself, to be able to remove himself from situations that anger or frustrate him. I know he will continue to have struggles - that is part of who he is. But I am so thankful that God used me the way He did today and I pray that He will continue to use me in this students life - for both our sakes.
Dandelion leaves and clover - what a cool lesson.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Tortoise in the pool
Today is Day 500. 500 days of pushing my body to workout. Getting up each morning and heading to the club. Some days it took more convincing myself then other days. Some mornings I popped up and rushed out the door -eager to accomplish something new. There were days where my workout had to wait until later in the day - those were my crabby days as I am now so trained to my early morning workout that if I don't get it in right away - I start to get frustrated that I have to wait.
But it hasn't only been 500 days of physical improvement. Something I have learned along the way is how connected everything in my life is - body, mind and spirit. So as I have been working on my body, my mental health has improved and my Faith has grown by leaps and bounds. Who knew that pumping iron could pump up your Faith? (oh there must be a t-shirt idea there!)
I spent Day 500 swimming. My challenge to myself was to swim a mile for the first time in my life. So I slipped into the pool at 5:37 this morning and started my laps. 1 hour and 28 minutes later I touched the wall for the completion of my first solid mile. Called myself the tortoise this morning. I am certainly not the fastest swimmer as I swim the backstroke but I kept my pace - nice and steady and finished strong.
I know that I have always loved being in the water - that weightless feeling, the calm and quiet when you are under water, the ability to do more flexibility-wise then I can on the fitness floor. And this morning was no different. Getting into my rhythm and finding that peaceful calm that allows me to focus on my prayers. At times it feels like I am the only one there (which sometimes is the case) and have God's full attention to my prayers (and yes I know that I always have His attention!) Today I found that a lot of my prayers were actually for me. Last week was very stressful for me and things just kept going wrong - with our house, cars, jobs, kids behaviors, etc. I know I didn't handle things as well as I could of but lots of prayers were sent up last week.
This morning I felt the need to ask God to give me a hint as to what His plans for me are. Was everything that happened last week preparing me for something else big to happen? Is this new job opportunity a chance for Him to use me in someone's life or to use them to teach me? Now that I have hit this milestone of 500 - where do I go? What challenges do I set for myself? My mind was spinning with a lot of What-ifs and that is not what I wanted this morning. I wanted to feel that sense of accomplishment in completing my mile, the endorphin rush from working out and to just be happy that life is good. So I prayed and swam. And I am still surprised that each time when I finish my workout, my head has stopped spinning or has cleared somewhat and I get to feel that endorphin rush! There has never been this obvious answer to my prayers right away but usually throughout the day things are revealed to me. I will be keeping eyes, ears, heart and mind open today!
Tomorrow is Day 501 and I will be up early, ready to set another challenge for myself. My NEW buddy asked me if I knew what path this journey was taking me on. I have no idea but I am happy with where it has taken me so far and I am looking forward to what lies ahead -knowing that it is God leading me to a NEW Shari!
But it hasn't only been 500 days of physical improvement. Something I have learned along the way is how connected everything in my life is - body, mind and spirit. So as I have been working on my body, my mental health has improved and my Faith has grown by leaps and bounds. Who knew that pumping iron could pump up your Faith? (oh there must be a t-shirt idea there!)
I spent Day 500 swimming. My challenge to myself was to swim a mile for the first time in my life. So I slipped into the pool at 5:37 this morning and started my laps. 1 hour and 28 minutes later I touched the wall for the completion of my first solid mile. Called myself the tortoise this morning. I am certainly not the fastest swimmer as I swim the backstroke but I kept my pace - nice and steady and finished strong.
I know that I have always loved being in the water - that weightless feeling, the calm and quiet when you are under water, the ability to do more flexibility-wise then I can on the fitness floor. And this morning was no different. Getting into my rhythm and finding that peaceful calm that allows me to focus on my prayers. At times it feels like I am the only one there (which sometimes is the case) and have God's full attention to my prayers (and yes I know that I always have His attention!) Today I found that a lot of my prayers were actually for me. Last week was very stressful for me and things just kept going wrong - with our house, cars, jobs, kids behaviors, etc. I know I didn't handle things as well as I could of but lots of prayers were sent up last week.
This morning I felt the need to ask God to give me a hint as to what His plans for me are. Was everything that happened last week preparing me for something else big to happen? Is this new job opportunity a chance for Him to use me in someone's life or to use them to teach me? Now that I have hit this milestone of 500 - where do I go? What challenges do I set for myself? My mind was spinning with a lot of What-ifs and that is not what I wanted this morning. I wanted to feel that sense of accomplishment in completing my mile, the endorphin rush from working out and to just be happy that life is good. So I prayed and swam. And I am still surprised that each time when I finish my workout, my head has stopped spinning or has cleared somewhat and I get to feel that endorphin rush! There has never been this obvious answer to my prayers right away but usually throughout the day things are revealed to me. I will be keeping eyes, ears, heart and mind open today!
Tomorrow is Day 501 and I will be up early, ready to set another challenge for myself. My NEW buddy asked me if I knew what path this journey was taking me on. I have no idea but I am happy with where it has taken me so far and I am looking forward to what lies ahead -knowing that it is God leading me to a NEW Shari!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Green with envy on St. Patty's Day
60 miles to make me happy? Sounds about right. At least yesterday that is what it took. The week leading up to the 17th was long - factoring in the time change, the weather change, squirrely kids, work, church, funeral, birthday party - sure I forgot something - but that's how my week played out. But Saturday was my day. I earned it. And I chose to spend my day doing something that makes me truly happy. Biking.
I bet you are all Green with Envy that you didn't spend Saturday biking 60 miles to Forest Lake and back (with some side trips built in)! But why should you be jealous?? Perhaps because it wasn't "your day" to do what you love? Have you every felt that way?
I texted my NEW buddy on my ride and told him how far I had gone and how much farther I was going to go and his response was "I wish it was me." Guess what? I knew exactly how he felt. Last Sunday was my Do unto others day. I had committed to helping at church, taking my mother in law shopping, running my daughter to a Girl Scout event, working for American Greetings and whatever else came up. It was not going to be My Day. That same day, my NEW buddy was doing his own triathlon at his health club. Swimming, biking and running. I was so envious that he had the opportunity to do that. A beautiful day weather wise and the freedom from other responsibilities to have time to test your limits. That day I didn't really want to be Shari the good kid - I wanted to be off working out and doing what I love. Pushing myself - not pushing a shopping cart!
So when my NEW buddy texted he wished it was him during my bike ride, I got to thinking - Why should we be jealous of each other? It isn't that I don't ever get to workout and push myself. And I am sure he feels the same way. He has plenty of opportunities to exercise. I think at times we all feel that Life should be perfect and we should be able to be happy all the time. But what if that were true? What if no one had money issues, or depression or physical pain? What if everyone got along? What kind of world would it be if all was right? It might be nice. And I believe that is how some might describe Heaven.
But if the world was perfect, how would we be able to grow as Christians? What opportunities would there be to serve others? Or to offer prayers? What need would there be for us to sacrifice as Christ did? I believe that for us to grow as Christians, we have to make sacrifices in our lives to help others. We need to feel pain - ours and theirs - and to be able to work through that pain. We need to feel sadness and turn to God to bring us through those difficult times. Life is not going to be perfect - at least not until we get to Heaven - so we need to look at the imperfections as wonderful lessons in growing in our Christian Faith.
My Faith in God tells me that He knows what is happening in my life - before it even happens. So God knew I was going to be jealous of my Buddy's triathlon day. But I have to believe that God also knew that I needed a lesson along the way - and that is what I got. Through my journey to this NEW Shari, I have found that it is easier for me to be open to listening to God and paying attention to His desires for me. Things that I may have ignored in the past, or brushed off as coincidence, I now believe those are messages from God. Sometimes it would be nice if they were just big billboards with the words right there telling me what to do - but that isn't the way it happens. This time it was 5 little words in a text that got me thinking (and learning!)
The Bible tells us that we are to have the perfect kind of love that God has for us. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). This verse to me is one of the best reminders of what God wants for us. The perfect love that He has for us is what we should have for others. And surprise - Jealousy is not part of it!!!
So don't be jealous of my 60 mile ride. Don't be Green with Envy of your friends new car. Don't be jealous of your coworkers extra day off. Be Happy for them. Show them God's perfect love. Make that commitment in your life to push jealousy out of your life and let God's Love take its place. It took me 60 miles to figure that out. How long is it going to take you???
I bet you are all Green with Envy that you didn't spend Saturday biking 60 miles to Forest Lake and back (with some side trips built in)! But why should you be jealous?? Perhaps because it wasn't "your day" to do what you love? Have you every felt that way?
I texted my NEW buddy on my ride and told him how far I had gone and how much farther I was going to go and his response was "I wish it was me." Guess what? I knew exactly how he felt. Last Sunday was my Do unto others day. I had committed to helping at church, taking my mother in law shopping, running my daughter to a Girl Scout event, working for American Greetings and whatever else came up. It was not going to be My Day. That same day, my NEW buddy was doing his own triathlon at his health club. Swimming, biking and running. I was so envious that he had the opportunity to do that. A beautiful day weather wise and the freedom from other responsibilities to have time to test your limits. That day I didn't really want to be Shari the good kid - I wanted to be off working out and doing what I love. Pushing myself - not pushing a shopping cart!
So when my NEW buddy texted he wished it was him during my bike ride, I got to thinking - Why should we be jealous of each other? It isn't that I don't ever get to workout and push myself. And I am sure he feels the same way. He has plenty of opportunities to exercise. I think at times we all feel that Life should be perfect and we should be able to be happy all the time. But what if that were true? What if no one had money issues, or depression or physical pain? What if everyone got along? What kind of world would it be if all was right? It might be nice. And I believe that is how some might describe Heaven.
But if the world was perfect, how would we be able to grow as Christians? What opportunities would there be to serve others? Or to offer prayers? What need would there be for us to sacrifice as Christ did? I believe that for us to grow as Christians, we have to make sacrifices in our lives to help others. We need to feel pain - ours and theirs - and to be able to work through that pain. We need to feel sadness and turn to God to bring us through those difficult times. Life is not going to be perfect - at least not until we get to Heaven - so we need to look at the imperfections as wonderful lessons in growing in our Christian Faith.
My Faith in God tells me that He knows what is happening in my life - before it even happens. So God knew I was going to be jealous of my Buddy's triathlon day. But I have to believe that God also knew that I needed a lesson along the way - and that is what I got. Through my journey to this NEW Shari, I have found that it is easier for me to be open to listening to God and paying attention to His desires for me. Things that I may have ignored in the past, or brushed off as coincidence, I now believe those are messages from God. Sometimes it would be nice if they were just big billboards with the words right there telling me what to do - but that isn't the way it happens. This time it was 5 little words in a text that got me thinking (and learning!)
The Bible tells us that we are to have the perfect kind of love that God has for us. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). This verse to me is one of the best reminders of what God wants for us. The perfect love that He has for us is what we should have for others. And surprise - Jealousy is not part of it!!!
So don't be jealous of my 60 mile ride. Don't be Green with Envy of your friends new car. Don't be jealous of your coworkers extra day off. Be Happy for them. Show them God's perfect love. Make that commitment in your life to push jealousy out of your life and let God's Love take its place. It took me 60 miles to figure that out. How long is it going to take you???
Friday, March 16, 2012
P cubed
Patience, Prayers and Peace. That is what P cubed stands for today. This revelation came at the Perfect time!
I suppose my week of ups and downs could be blamed on the time change. Or the fact that Minnesota has jumped straight to summer. Or that I worked a lot more this week than usual. Or the stress of starting a basement remodel. Or...????? Whatever reason I pick, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I apply my P cubed theory to today and let God give me a fresh start to the day.
Patience! That is a hard one sometimes. I would love to lose 10 pounds this week. Or have my house clean in an hour. Or have the basement remodel done today. But everything in life takes time. And it isn't on my schedule - it is in God's time. I can usually convince myself of that but it isn't easy. I can get my coffee at McDonald's in less than two minutes - why can't my house be clean in an hour (and stay that way?) The weather in Minnesota right now is perfect for long distance biking. I would go every day if I could. But I need to be patient and finish what needs to be done first - cleaning, American Greetings work, church commitments - before I can enjoy myself on the road. There will be sacrifices made today so that I can hopefully have tomorrow to myself on a 40 or 50 mile ride. And for me it will be a great test of my patience to see if I can get things done and make it through the day with out becoming "crabby!"
Prayers! There are days when I get to the club in the morning and right off the bat I am focused on my prayers. Then there are days when I get to the end of my workout, with my mind still cluttered and realize I haven't taken the time to pray and give my problems to God. Today was one of those days. Two nights of less than adequate sleep, three days of go go go, and a list a mile long of things that need to be done now plus the requests of friends and family - spoken or unspoken - for needs in their lives - and my brain was overwhelmed this morning. I struggled to make myself do an easy day in anticipation of my ride tomorrow but it took me a good hour before I realized I hadn't given anything to God. I was so focused on what I thought I could do to help everyone and "Fix" things in their lives, that I had pushed God aside this morning and crowned myself "Superwoman!"
I am so happy that God has patience with me. And that He will listen to my prayers. When I finish a workout and don't feel any better mentally - I know I forgot something. That is when I realize I NEED to take time to pray. I know I am not Superwoman - nor do I really want to be. But there are times where I just get so focused on what needs to be done and think that I can do it myself that I lose sight of who can really get it done - and that I need God to help me. Prayers went up and on my drive home I felt that weight coming off my shoulders, that clearing coming into my head and that feeling of God being there with me and that leads me into Peace.
Peace! I have a friend who signs all his emails with the word Peace. One word - a powerful word - that is a wonderful reminder that we can have Peace in our lives. But it isn't something that just happens. I find that Peace comes usually after Prayers have been sent up and when I have found the time to be Patient in life. Allowing God to take on my struggles brings me Peace. Surrounding myself with a serene setting in the great outdoors brings me Peace. Watching the joy my children bring to me and others brings me Peace. Knowing that God will keep me on this wonderful journey to a NEW Shari brings me Peace. There are so many opportunities to find things to bring me Peace, I just have to remind myself to make the effort to look.
P cubed. That's my motto today. My workout is done, Prayers have been said and I know that God is already working in me to bring me Patience and Peace.
Peace to you my friends.
I suppose my week of ups and downs could be blamed on the time change. Or the fact that Minnesota has jumped straight to summer. Or that I worked a lot more this week than usual. Or the stress of starting a basement remodel. Or...????? Whatever reason I pick, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I apply my P cubed theory to today and let God give me a fresh start to the day.
Patience! That is a hard one sometimes. I would love to lose 10 pounds this week. Or have my house clean in an hour. Or have the basement remodel done today. But everything in life takes time. And it isn't on my schedule - it is in God's time. I can usually convince myself of that but it isn't easy. I can get my coffee at McDonald's in less than two minutes - why can't my house be clean in an hour (and stay that way?) The weather in Minnesota right now is perfect for long distance biking. I would go every day if I could. But I need to be patient and finish what needs to be done first - cleaning, American Greetings work, church commitments - before I can enjoy myself on the road. There will be sacrifices made today so that I can hopefully have tomorrow to myself on a 40 or 50 mile ride. And for me it will be a great test of my patience to see if I can get things done and make it through the day with out becoming "crabby!"
Prayers! There are days when I get to the club in the morning and right off the bat I am focused on my prayers. Then there are days when I get to the end of my workout, with my mind still cluttered and realize I haven't taken the time to pray and give my problems to God. Today was one of those days. Two nights of less than adequate sleep, three days of go go go, and a list a mile long of things that need to be done now plus the requests of friends and family - spoken or unspoken - for needs in their lives - and my brain was overwhelmed this morning. I struggled to make myself do an easy day in anticipation of my ride tomorrow but it took me a good hour before I realized I hadn't given anything to God. I was so focused on what I thought I could do to help everyone and "Fix" things in their lives, that I had pushed God aside this morning and crowned myself "Superwoman!"
I am so happy that God has patience with me. And that He will listen to my prayers. When I finish a workout and don't feel any better mentally - I know I forgot something. That is when I realize I NEED to take time to pray. I know I am not Superwoman - nor do I really want to be. But there are times where I just get so focused on what needs to be done and think that I can do it myself that I lose sight of who can really get it done - and that I need God to help me. Prayers went up and on my drive home I felt that weight coming off my shoulders, that clearing coming into my head and that feeling of God being there with me and that leads me into Peace.
Peace! I have a friend who signs all his emails with the word Peace. One word - a powerful word - that is a wonderful reminder that we can have Peace in our lives. But it isn't something that just happens. I find that Peace comes usually after Prayers have been sent up and when I have found the time to be Patient in life. Allowing God to take on my struggles brings me Peace. Surrounding myself with a serene setting in the great outdoors brings me Peace. Watching the joy my children bring to me and others brings me Peace. Knowing that God will keep me on this wonderful journey to a NEW Shari brings me Peace. There are so many opportunities to find things to bring me Peace, I just have to remind myself to make the effort to look.
P cubed. That's my motto today. My workout is done, Prayers have been said and I know that God is already working in me to bring me Patience and Peace.
Peace to you my friends.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
What have you done in the last 500 days or so?
Think back over the last 500 days (or roughly a year and 4 1/2 months) and ask yourself what you have done. Have you tried to make the most out of each day? Have you made healthy choices? Have you exercised? Have you helped your fellow man when he needed it? Have you prayed for friends and family and asked God to bless them in their lives?
Well I have spent the last almost 500 days on my journey towards a NEW Shari. I made a commitment to go the Lifetime each day and put in a full workout. (I say almost because -1. I have 13 days to go still and 2. due to various circumstances, it has not been 500 consecutive days. I have defined it as days that I have had access to the club I have gone and worked out.)
My journey started as a weight loss program but honestly I had little hope of it working because others had failed. 5 days in one week - harder than you might think. It was summer, I was enjoying the great outdoors and didn't want to make time to go to the club, workout and then come back home and pick up whatever project I had set aside. But I did it. I huffed and puffed my 15 minutes on the bike and walked the track. No way was I going to tackle anything more than that. Bike, walk and row - because the rowing machine was hidden in a little alcove behind the racquetball courts and I figured no one would see me struggle to row. That is how I started.
The first few weeks were such a struggle physically - making my body do things it did not want to do. But it was also a mental struggle. I knew how overweight I was and to walk into a health club with people who are in much better shape than you have ever been - let's just say it takes a lot to push yourself to overcome that feeling that everyone is watching you, pointing you out, making comments about you. (And looking back I realize that most people aren't doing that because they are just too busy working out - but that is the mental game you play with yourself!)
So struggle I did. I did my 5 days and then worked out enough to get my 12 times in for the month for that wonderful insurance rebate! The next month I did the same. But by September, I was being to notice that the workouts weren't as hard as they had seemed in the beginning. My heart rate wasn't skyrocketing the moment I started pedalling. I didn't feel like I would pass out if I pushed a little harder. The fear of having a heart attack in the middle of the workout room was slowly fading *yes that was a huge fear!* I have to admit - I was becoming a little addicted to this working out thing.
Some of those who know me know I set little challenges for myself along the way. And no - 500 days was not a challenge I set for myself. But biking for 2 hours on the stationary bike, or taking on the elliptical and making it for an hour, or my newest one- rowing to Chicago (410 miles)- are some of those challenges that have made my workouts almost fun! Finding ways to motivate myself and keep from falling into that dreaded repetitive workout trap has been a little bit of a struggle from time to time - but I haven't given up.
And along the way, I have experienced somewhat of a parallel in my relationship with God. My Faith has been there all along but now it is growing. I have never doubted the existence of God and have lived as much as I thought I could in the way He expected me too. But until I started this NEW journey - I had not truly experienced MY FAITH in GOD or what a wonderful life you can live for HIM. Little by little, He has changed me - physically, mentally and spiritually. Inches have come off, some pounds too - people have noticed and commented. That has led me to work harder at that. The physical part is what started it but the spiritual side is what has been truly transformed.
If you know me personally, you know that I am a giver and I will do just about anything to help out. That is just the way I am. My parents are great examples and I grew up doing for others without question. And that hasn't changed. But I find now that when I serve others in His name = the reward for me is so much more. Whether it be reading with my special kiddos at North Park, or making popcorn for classrooms at Highland, or baking apple crisp for the staff, I come away feeling such a wonderful sense of pleasure from God. And once you experience that feeling, you want to feel it again and again. I guess you could somewhat compare it to that exercise high you get after a great workout - but this is so much deeper in you.
Day 500 is almost here. I am thinking up a little challenge to celebrate the day - 2 hour swim or 40 mile bike - who knows. What I do know is that I am already looking forward to what the next 500 days will bring and wondering how God will be using me this time around.
Well I have spent the last almost 500 days on my journey towards a NEW Shari. I made a commitment to go the Lifetime each day and put in a full workout. (I say almost because -1. I have 13 days to go still and 2. due to various circumstances, it has not been 500 consecutive days. I have defined it as days that I have had access to the club I have gone and worked out.)
My journey started as a weight loss program but honestly I had little hope of it working because others had failed. 5 days in one week - harder than you might think. It was summer, I was enjoying the great outdoors and didn't want to make time to go to the club, workout and then come back home and pick up whatever project I had set aside. But I did it. I huffed and puffed my 15 minutes on the bike and walked the track. No way was I going to tackle anything more than that. Bike, walk and row - because the rowing machine was hidden in a little alcove behind the racquetball courts and I figured no one would see me struggle to row. That is how I started.
The first few weeks were such a struggle physically - making my body do things it did not want to do. But it was also a mental struggle. I knew how overweight I was and to walk into a health club with people who are in much better shape than you have ever been - let's just say it takes a lot to push yourself to overcome that feeling that everyone is watching you, pointing you out, making comments about you. (And looking back I realize that most people aren't doing that because they are just too busy working out - but that is the mental game you play with yourself!)
So struggle I did. I did my 5 days and then worked out enough to get my 12 times in for the month for that wonderful insurance rebate! The next month I did the same. But by September, I was being to notice that the workouts weren't as hard as they had seemed in the beginning. My heart rate wasn't skyrocketing the moment I started pedalling. I didn't feel like I would pass out if I pushed a little harder. The fear of having a heart attack in the middle of the workout room was slowly fading *yes that was a huge fear!* I have to admit - I was becoming a little addicted to this working out thing.
Some of those who know me know I set little challenges for myself along the way. And no - 500 days was not a challenge I set for myself. But biking for 2 hours on the stationary bike, or taking on the elliptical and making it for an hour, or my newest one- rowing to Chicago (410 miles)- are some of those challenges that have made my workouts almost fun! Finding ways to motivate myself and keep from falling into that dreaded repetitive workout trap has been a little bit of a struggle from time to time - but I haven't given up.
And along the way, I have experienced somewhat of a parallel in my relationship with God. My Faith has been there all along but now it is growing. I have never doubted the existence of God and have lived as much as I thought I could in the way He expected me too. But until I started this NEW journey - I had not truly experienced MY FAITH in GOD or what a wonderful life you can live for HIM. Little by little, He has changed me - physically, mentally and spiritually. Inches have come off, some pounds too - people have noticed and commented. That has led me to work harder at that. The physical part is what started it but the spiritual side is what has been truly transformed.
If you know me personally, you know that I am a giver and I will do just about anything to help out. That is just the way I am. My parents are great examples and I grew up doing for others without question. And that hasn't changed. But I find now that when I serve others in His name = the reward for me is so much more. Whether it be reading with my special kiddos at North Park, or making popcorn for classrooms at Highland, or baking apple crisp for the staff, I come away feeling such a wonderful sense of pleasure from God. And once you experience that feeling, you want to feel it again and again. I guess you could somewhat compare it to that exercise high you get after a great workout - but this is so much deeper in you.
Day 500 is almost here. I am thinking up a little challenge to celebrate the day - 2 hour swim or 40 mile bike - who knows. What I do know is that I am already looking forward to what the next 500 days will bring and wondering how God will be using me this time around.
Monday, March 12, 2012
220
What is it about the number 220 that bothers me?? Could it be that it is the weight that I am always unable to surpass? For all the positive changes I have made in my life and how hard I have worked - I have yet to get past that number. And it is frustrating me to no end.
I have no problem telling anyone who asks what I weigh because that is what the scale tells me every time I get on. No point in lying about it. I have had people tell me to quit weighing myself - go by how you feel. Which I can do - for about a day. The number on the scale is part of life. When I go to the doctor, the first thing they do is weigh me. When I go to the DMV, I have to put my weight down. I am participating in a 90 day weight loss challenge at the health club so of course weight is important. When looking at a medical procedure I wanted done, I was told I had to lose 30 pounds to qualify. That was two years ago. I still have yet to hit that 30 pound mark. I have lost 40 inches in the last 5 years but am stuck at 25 pounds.
Part of it I know is that a benefit of my workouts is that I have gained muscle that I never had before and muscle weighs more than fat. But that is just a cruel mental game your body plays on you. You are trying to lose weight, exercise more and in return for that added strength, you get to weigh more! I love the muscle - don't get me wrong, but my body has yet to figure out how to shrink those remaining fat cells and get me below 220.
Today I was 219.9 at the club. Yes that is below 220 but it won't last the day. Tomorrow I weigh in - do I dare hope that I will be below 220 for the official recording? I have prayed many times that I would get past that number - and maybe that isn't what I should be praying for. Perhaps I should focus on thanking God for the opportunities I have had on this journey, the positive changes in my body, the fact that I have been moving in the direction I want but it has to be in God's time and most important is that overall I feel like a new person.
So here it is God - I leave it in your hands.
But if you hear a YIPPEE Tuesday morning - that would be me breaking that 220 barrier! Finally!
I have no problem telling anyone who asks what I weigh because that is what the scale tells me every time I get on. No point in lying about it. I have had people tell me to quit weighing myself - go by how you feel. Which I can do - for about a day. The number on the scale is part of life. When I go to the doctor, the first thing they do is weigh me. When I go to the DMV, I have to put my weight down. I am participating in a 90 day weight loss challenge at the health club so of course weight is important. When looking at a medical procedure I wanted done, I was told I had to lose 30 pounds to qualify. That was two years ago. I still have yet to hit that 30 pound mark. I have lost 40 inches in the last 5 years but am stuck at 25 pounds.
Part of it I know is that a benefit of my workouts is that I have gained muscle that I never had before and muscle weighs more than fat. But that is just a cruel mental game your body plays on you. You are trying to lose weight, exercise more and in return for that added strength, you get to weigh more! I love the muscle - don't get me wrong, but my body has yet to figure out how to shrink those remaining fat cells and get me below 220.
Today I was 219.9 at the club. Yes that is below 220 but it won't last the day. Tomorrow I weigh in - do I dare hope that I will be below 220 for the official recording? I have prayed many times that I would get past that number - and maybe that isn't what I should be praying for. Perhaps I should focus on thanking God for the opportunities I have had on this journey, the positive changes in my body, the fact that I have been moving in the direction I want but it has to be in God's time and most important is that overall I feel like a new person.
So here it is God - I leave it in your hands.
But if you hear a YIPPEE Tuesday morning - that would be me breaking that 220 barrier! Finally!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Who's your Faith Buddy?
Faith Buddy. Not sure that I have ever heard that phrase used - so maybe I will start something new. But that is how I would describe my friend - without whom I know I would not be where I am in My Journey.
I did not set out looking for a Faith Buddy. I didn't set out looking for a No Excuses Buddy. I wasn't looking for anyone to help me on this journey because I didn't know I was going to be going on a journey. I have done the diet and exercise thing before and it never worked. So I didn't tell anyone that I was trying to lose weight. I just started walking - daily - to and from school with the kids. It wasn't hard to do but I also didn't expect anything to change. So we walked each day, up the hill to school and down the hill home. It was a nice mild winter so we continued as often as we could. I guess my No Excuse Week had its roots there because I would tell the kids there was no reason why we couldn't walk the half mile to school.
Finally spring came and one day I walked to school without my BIG winter coat. My son made this comment on the way up the hill - " Mom, I think you are getting skinnier." Let me just say that those are some of the nicest words that he has ever said to me. The scale may not have said that I was losing weight, but all my walking had started firming things up. So this lady kept up the walking - still not knowing exactly what was in store for her.
Later that spring, a remark was made by someone who would come to play a big part in my journey - a positive remark that they probably don't even remember - but that finally sparked something in me to make the effort. And with the support of my now NEW buddy, I began the exercise portion of my journey. Little did I know that GOD has a great way of working in someone without them knowing it (at least with me that's how it began).
I have been a Christian all my life. I accepted Christ when I was 8 and I have always tried to live my life as I had been taught. But I never felt like I was doing it exactly right - if there is such a thing. I guess I was looking for those Hallelujah moments, impressive answers to prayer or an overwhelming desire to drop to my knees and praise God. I hadn't witnessed this really but thought that if God was working in me that I would experience these things. Guess what? It really doesn't happen that way.
For me it began with talks about exercise with my NEW Buddy. Supporting each other in our challenges at the gym. I knew he was a Christian - and occassionally we would talk about things going on at our churches. But the first time he asked me to pray for something happening in his life - was the first time I actually felt led to do it. At church they ask you to pray all the time = prayer requests are sent out on emails or phone calls, or announced during services. I don't think I really ever felt that my prayers would make a difference - so I didn't put much into them. Words - simple words was all that they were. But this time there was something different - God made sure that I understood that He was listening. I honestly can't remember if my prayers were answered that time because that wasn't what I was focused on. I was focusing on the fact that someone else had asked me directly to pray for them - that they believed that my prayers would help them. It was that first step in pumping up my Faith. Imagine a flat basketball - new out of the package. It takes quite a bit of work to get it to a usable condition - and that is what is happening on my journey. God has been using me to help others and in the process those actions have helped pump up my Faith.
To define my Faith Buddy- is hard to do because he is also my NEW Buddy and my friend. But he is the one I can openly ask for prayers -without getting into specifics. I can share my frustrations and doubts (and yes I still have doubts - even God related ones but I am working on that) and believe that he won't judge me because of them. I can tell him when I feel I have had a cool God moment and know that he will share in the praises to God. When he asks me to pray - he knows I will and that I put all my faith in God in those prayers. When someone thanks me for inspiring them to make better choices in their life, he and I both realize that it was God working through me to get to them.
As for my Faith Buddy - whether or not he knows that I am calling him that - I am thankful that he is part of my journey. We have had some wonderful chats about how God works in our lives as well as those around us. We have both had struggles - physically, mentally and spiritually - over the last few years. And prayers, talks and tweaking our workouts have gotten us through so far. I can't imagine where I would be on this journey without my Faith Buddy. I am so glad that God knew where He wanted me to be with my Faith and what and who I needed to get going on the right path.
So - who in your life is your Faith Buddy?
I did not set out looking for a Faith Buddy. I didn't set out looking for a No Excuses Buddy. I wasn't looking for anyone to help me on this journey because I didn't know I was going to be going on a journey. I have done the diet and exercise thing before and it never worked. So I didn't tell anyone that I was trying to lose weight. I just started walking - daily - to and from school with the kids. It wasn't hard to do but I also didn't expect anything to change. So we walked each day, up the hill to school and down the hill home. It was a nice mild winter so we continued as often as we could. I guess my No Excuse Week had its roots there because I would tell the kids there was no reason why we couldn't walk the half mile to school.
Finally spring came and one day I walked to school without my BIG winter coat. My son made this comment on the way up the hill - " Mom, I think you are getting skinnier." Let me just say that those are some of the nicest words that he has ever said to me. The scale may not have said that I was losing weight, but all my walking had started firming things up. So this lady kept up the walking - still not knowing exactly what was in store for her.
Later that spring, a remark was made by someone who would come to play a big part in my journey - a positive remark that they probably don't even remember - but that finally sparked something in me to make the effort. And with the support of my now NEW buddy, I began the exercise portion of my journey. Little did I know that GOD has a great way of working in someone without them knowing it (at least with me that's how it began).
I have been a Christian all my life. I accepted Christ when I was 8 and I have always tried to live my life as I had been taught. But I never felt like I was doing it exactly right - if there is such a thing. I guess I was looking for those Hallelujah moments, impressive answers to prayer or an overwhelming desire to drop to my knees and praise God. I hadn't witnessed this really but thought that if God was working in me that I would experience these things. Guess what? It really doesn't happen that way.
For me it began with talks about exercise with my NEW Buddy. Supporting each other in our challenges at the gym. I knew he was a Christian - and occassionally we would talk about things going on at our churches. But the first time he asked me to pray for something happening in his life - was the first time I actually felt led to do it. At church they ask you to pray all the time = prayer requests are sent out on emails or phone calls, or announced during services. I don't think I really ever felt that my prayers would make a difference - so I didn't put much into them. Words - simple words was all that they were. But this time there was something different - God made sure that I understood that He was listening. I honestly can't remember if my prayers were answered that time because that wasn't what I was focused on. I was focusing on the fact that someone else had asked me directly to pray for them - that they believed that my prayers would help them. It was that first step in pumping up my Faith. Imagine a flat basketball - new out of the package. It takes quite a bit of work to get it to a usable condition - and that is what is happening on my journey. God has been using me to help others and in the process those actions have helped pump up my Faith.
To define my Faith Buddy- is hard to do because he is also my NEW Buddy and my friend. But he is the one I can openly ask for prayers -without getting into specifics. I can share my frustrations and doubts (and yes I still have doubts - even God related ones but I am working on that) and believe that he won't judge me because of them. I can tell him when I feel I have had a cool God moment and know that he will share in the praises to God. When he asks me to pray - he knows I will and that I put all my faith in God in those prayers. When someone thanks me for inspiring them to make better choices in their life, he and I both realize that it was God working through me to get to them.
As for my Faith Buddy - whether or not he knows that I am calling him that - I am thankful that he is part of my journey. We have had some wonderful chats about how God works in our lives as well as those around us. We have both had struggles - physically, mentally and spiritually - over the last few years. And prayers, talks and tweaking our workouts have gotten us through so far. I can't imagine where I would be on this journey without my Faith Buddy. I am so glad that God knew where He wanted me to be with my Faith and what and who I needed to get going on the right path.
So - who in your life is your Faith Buddy?
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